Recently I discovered, at age 93, AA row can be more pain than pleasure.  Granny was fast approaching the ripe old age of 93.  AA seemed like the ideal spot for us all sit with her and watch a favourite show.  A celebration of sorts.  So when the opportunity arose to snap up some AA seats for her 93 rd birthday, I grabbed the chance.

The whole family came along, but we discovered row AA isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Granny, as I mentioned is 93 ... AA is right at the front.  So the poor dear needed to be practically engineered to the front of the theatre.  Then agonising step by step across towards the middle of the row. 

At last we arrived and settled into our premium AA seats.  93 year old Granny was delighted to be attending this event surrounded by loving family.  We were all chatty and excitedly reading the program when the lights began to dim and the music began.

Which is about when I realised that sitting in row AA is about as comfortable as enduring a long session at the dentist, except without the comfort of a neck roll.  My own straight forward vision gave a delightful view of the performer’s shoelaces.  I shudder to think what my little 93 year old granny could see without craning skyward ... but the children’s uninterrupted view was to be short-lived when the call of nature arrived.

Let me say that it just isn’t possible to stealthily move from the centre of row AA to the bathrooms in any theatre.  First carefully stepping over and around 93 year old granny, then right to the end of row AA.  Embarassing, yes.  But not quite as humiliating as the bulls-eye shot a small child can achieve with choc-top ice-cream into the orchestra pit.  Naturally this enraged the performers, and much of row AA.  93 year old Granny just got the giggles.

If you’ve ever been to the theatre and anticipated intermission ... perhaps a spot of bubbly, air kissing socialites or a quick relief (of some sort) ... the 93 AA combination can bring that all undone.  Getting Granny to her seat was challenging enough.  But moving a 93 year old from row AA (completely unaided I might add) through a theatre crowd determined to be first to the ablutions posed a whole new test.  Ah, yes, then the bell rings and you need to get back to those AA seats again.  All within an impossible times-pan.

I’m not sure whether I should mention the proximity of row AA to the stage also poses certain dangers.  And not necessarily to 93 year old ladies.  Yes, there is always the possibility of a misguided prop.  But that risk seems tiny when compared with a little bit of over-spray from the stage.  Yes, those lusty songs like Old Man River get us all going ... including the performers.  So we shouldn’t be surprised if their spittle builds up and maybe escapes with that soaring high note.  But watch out where it lands.

That’s all from Michael Melville Kirwan today and the 93AA combination.